At least once or twice a year, I have a thought that itches my mind. Sometime last year, I shared it in my Substack chat.
A few weeks ago, I decided to take it to my Whatsapp to see what others felt about it. There was one response that stood out to me. Of course, it was written by a young man.
This absolutely did not make sense. At least, not to me. I’ll let you decide.
The Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG)
The MPDG trope is not uncommon in pop culture, across movies and (covertly) music. It’s so hilarious to me, and is what the young man in the screenshot above described. The manic pixie dream girl is a character in movies who drops into the life of a boring man to save him from his ennui. She’s the typical quirky girl who is beautiful but doesn’t realize it or make much use of it. She’s free-spirited and usually uninterested in beauty standards or expectations. And of course, despite how awesome and dreamy she is (although she doesn’t realize it), she chooses the boring dude. Now, isn’t that a movie?
Here’s what really made me pause about that reply the young man gave me. It was that he wasn’t only describing the MPDG. He was describing multiple character archetypes—the Cool Girl (who enjoys video games, sports; while being effortlessly attractive), the Gamer Girl (who is attractive because she’s into male-dominated subcultures; but of course, she’s really hot under all her awkwardness), the “Not Like Other Girls” Girl (need I say anything more about her?)
That was the moment I realized that my brain itch wasn’t unfounded. This is an actual issue. Young men are out here treating a woman’s beauty like a hidden artifact, only valid once they’ve discovered it.
The kids are not alright.
One way or another, this ideology has seeped into society through pop culture. Subconsciously, the girl wants to be “different from others”. She wants to be zesty, enthusiastic. She wants to be liked.1
And the boy is no different. He is out seeking the “rare heirloom”. That girl who is hotter than July 22 but doesn’t quite recognize it; just as our band of 5 curly haired London boys sang “you don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful”.
Conclusion
Does art reflect culture or do we define culture through art? This is a question to think about. Is it the fault of the movies and music that people go about living lives with ideologies assimilated from these mediums? Or are these art mediums simply reflecting what happens in real life?
Regardless of how we judge it, we must do the farmer’s work—uprooting weeds so something better can grow, even though the weed got there first. The age or popularity of a belief in society doesn’t make it true. As a species that evolves in philosophy, we owe it to ourselves to question our ways of life when we recognize their adverse effects.
We should teach women that they are beautiful. Athletic or not, adventurous or not, typical or not; we should encourage them to walk with heads held high. We should teach men that it is not up to them to discover a woman’s beauty. We should teach them to appreciate women in all their forms and uniqueness. The onus is on us to reconstruct culture.
Because I know I am beautiful. Now what?
There are women who don’t do this for male attention, but simply because they enjoy it. However, even if our eyes are squinted, we would still recognize the power of pop culture in implanting such “male-centred” desires in the hearts of the young.
P.S: I was supposed to write an article last week, but I was too busy replying birthday wishes. Yes, last Sunday was my birthday :). New age, same old me! Ha!
Weekly articles are back now.
Remarkable✨
This is so beautifully written. Again I think the patrichial system encouraged this. A bold confident, "I know I am" boy is a gem while a girl posessing these characteristics is doing too much, proud. A girl should be shy, naive and "unaware of her beauty" or at least pretend not to be aware to get be attractive.
It is what it is 🙂