We have been taught not to love our neighbors

Spores of the New Culture are rapidly spreading.

In the Holy Book of the Christians, Jesus says that all the commandments of God can be summarized under two umbrellas:

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.

2. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Growing up, it is hammered into our heads; “Do to others what you want them to do to you”, “love your neighbor always”, etc. It is also simultaneously said, “be wary of strangers”, “don’t talk to anybody you don’t know”; and you face the consequences of your actions when you do otherwise. A spank from your father, or a look from your mother that withers you on the spot. You hear stories of disobedient children who spoke to strangers and vanished. We’re accompanied and influenced by these teachings as we grow up.

If we’re to go by the example of Jesus, your neighbor is anyone in need of your help at any moment. But when a stranger needs your help, how do you reconcile both teachings from your childhood?

I was in a cab that passed in front of a market a few days ago, and as is my custom these days, I wasn’t scrolling on my phone. I stared outside the window, lost in my thoughts and not really seeing anything, until a man on his knees registered in my consciousness. He was on all fours on the median that divided the road in two as he scrambled to pack some things that fell from his hand. He was older and seemed a bit lost as he did it.

I looked around, expecting him to have at least provoked the attention of people, even if they weren’t motivated to help him. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Hardly anyone casted more than a passing glance at him. It moved me. I wanted to believe that if I wasn’t in a cab, I would’ve crossed to help him; but as is my custom, I confronted that comfortable thought.

“Would I really have left my business to help this strange man who could be insane, a pervert or even worse? Was I any better than the people who minded their own business that day? Have we been subtly cultured not to love our neighbors? What does this mean for the day that I need the help of someone who’s around me? How would the person view me - as a thief, a liar or worse?

What has happened to our humanity?

After thinking left and right, forward and behind, I decided that the answer to these questions is wrapped in the simple truth that humanity has lost faith in itself. It is not an independent occurrence. We have given ourselves cause to not trust one another. It is as though the amount of time that passes is directly proportional to the degree of deplorability that the human behavior falls into. The human condition is on a steady decline, a timed descent into the outrageous. Our forefathers would be appalled; not at the possibilities of badness in people - that has always been present - but at the rampancy of it. What used to be the exception has become the norm. Things fall apart.

“Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” - William Butler Yeats (The Second Coming)

But this doesn’t mean there is no good left in this corrupted world. What it does mean is that in one way or the other, we have become casualties of this new culture. In a bid to be wise and not susceptible to the cunningness of foul people, we have become fearful and lowkey unkind. On the one hand, we are the good ones who cannot convince the world that we are good. And therefore, we are subject to the same tests and reactions that our nemeses are subject to. How do we convince someone we are trying to help that we are not out to swindle them? How do we reassure those in the position to help us that we are not out to use them? It is exhausting.

On the other hand, we also propagate this thought school. When we go around distrusting our neighbors and imagining the worst of them, have we not become the perpetrators of that which harms us? We carry negative energy in our hearts, and view the world through squinted eyes. Because we do not want the dirt to enter, we inevitably drastically reduce the amount of light that comes into our lives. We deprive ourselves of connecting with people we never knew, bonding over shared circumstances, or experiencing a kindred feeling so deep in your heart, you cannot put it into words. We are the casualties of this new culture.

By contributing our mind space, we allow this ideology to become the norm. How then can we complain when we suffer its consequences?

How do we move forward from this?

It begins here. We can be wise and kind.

It’s in starting conversations with strangers while not divulging personal information. It’s in helping an old man to cross the road by stopping traffic. It’s in helping the little girl who mischievously spent her cab fare with some money to go home. It’s in giving the right directions to people who ask, and moving on. It’s also in yelling “it’s not about you, the world is a dangerous place”, when you’re in a lonely area and you run away from people approaching. It’s in treating people as people. As much as you can.

Will you sometimes feel foolish? That’s likely. The person you’re trying to help might try to take advantage of you. In fact, they may succeed.¹

Truth is, you win. You win against this world. You refuse it your humanity. If we’re to touch on the same Holy Book we started this article with, it instructs that when your shirt is taken, you should offer your coat with it. This means that it is possible for your neighbor to try to repay your good for evil, or just do you evil unprovoked, but you’re not a victim. You will be rewarded for the good you do. Give goodness, and it will come back to you. The world should be a better place because you’re in it.

Let us, you and I, rewrite the narrative. Let us relearn loving our neighbors.

Without other people, we might as well be zombies. - Tallahassee (Zombieland 2009)

1. Video credit: Twitter. A police traffic warden attached to Sabo Police Division in Lagos, Insp. Josephine Ogene spotted sharing packs of brand new socks for the kids going to school.