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Ìfẹ́olúwa's avatar

half of me feels like I'm being inconsiderate when I ask people—usually, my people—for help. I usually consider it from the angle that they're going through life too and I wouldn't want to overwhelm them.

ironically, the other half of me feels betrayed when, periodically, my friends don't come to me when they need help. it makes me wonder if I'm being a present friend or not.

I think both halves are mad and I agree with you, Olasubomi - it does makes me feel stupid.

a friend of mine told me "there’s a whole village of people willing to hold your hands, Will, if you’d let them" last year and I've been trying to be more intentional towards "letting them" in different aspects of my life

my innate character still exists though so to balance it out, the few times I ask for help, I make sure to spread it out. One friend today, then another friend tomorrow for a different thing, then another... then repeat cycle 😂

as usual—I mean, it's canon now—I love your piece, Olasubomi... you always find a way to bring out my thoughts, then highlight them with ink... even when we haven't conversed about it yet.

do not ever hesitate to reach out to me for help though, twin 🫵🏽

take it as a threat or a command or whatever 😌❤️

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Olasubomi Oduntan's avatar

😂 love you, twin. we are so alike ❤️

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ElizabethOiza's avatar

I honestly think this might be one of the reasons you are my friend. I can relate, I feel seen with you. And your articles make me feel. And feel that someone gets it. This is beautiful and well written. I can say I'm learning to ask and I still feel choked up when I do, I feel very inconsiderate but it gets better, just ask. Worst you'll hear is no.

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Olasubomi Oduntan's avatar

God airpus 💀😂❤️

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Nezzar knowles's avatar

It’s also hard to ask for help when you grow up in a culture that doesn’t foster relationship with your family members.

Been there and affected me

Just learning to ask for help now in my adult life and also seek mentors too.

Great one 👏

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Olasubomi Oduntan's avatar

Rooting for you 💐

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Tosin does stuff's avatar

I can’t even lie—this is one of those pieces that made me pause and think deeply. I can’t relate to the ease of asking for help either. I often convince myself that others are carrying enough and don’t need me adding to their load. But this made me realize that sometimes, people want to show up for you—not because you asked, but because they care. That part about admiring those who reach out not just for financial help but for emotional support? That hit. I hope to one day learn how to enjoy the gift of people too.

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Olasubomi Oduntan's avatar

I think that when we let our community hold our hands, we are showing them grace. We are showing them grace by thinking the best of them; thinking that, like us, they are not wicked. They want to be there for us, and they will do whatever they’re capable of doing to ease our situations, just like we will if we were in their shoes.

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Goddess Writes's avatar

This is me oo. And it's not because of independence, but because I'm ashamed. Ashamed of what? I don't know. All I know is I'm overwhelmed with a sense of shame.

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