On knowing yourself..

conversations, thoughts.

The past week wasn’t my best. It drained me of mental energy, like I haven’t experienced in a minute. I couldn’t read as much, nor did I have many stimulating conversations. But it had its unique beauties, so I will not complain. We faced electricity challenges, but I saw my best friend again after more than a month of not breathing the same air as she. I was constantly tired, but I did dance at a wedding party to my satisfaction. I started reading a novel that is making me rethink writing fiction. Unique beauties, like I said.

I didn’t work on an article throughout the week, though. I’m a little disappointed, but hey, life happens.

So, today, I cannot write about anything heavy. I will instead share my most recent thoughts. I hope it “feels like sitting in a cozy, dimly lit café, sipping something warm while listening to a friend unravel their thoughts—honest, introspective, and deeply personal.”¹

Knowing yourself

This was a random text I sent to my friend, Kanayo, after I read “Brave New World”. As I usually do when I encounter a piece of art that challenges my thoughts or makes me fall in love, I went to research the author, Aldous Huxley. I read what people said about him and it struck me that this is the type of person I want to be— witty and curious, constantly asking why/how; writing about what defines us as humans, our evolutions and socio-cultural changes. I want to devote myself to writing and to ceaselessly confront my thoughts and others’.

I have always known this about myself. However, it feels like a new discovery each time I find proof that corroborates my thoughts about who I am. Because, get this, who you think you are might be a lie.

And that leads us to the next section.

---

Are you the you you think you are? *side eye*

credit: ebele light

I had caught myself looking at comments before forming an opinion on different Instagram news updates. I caught myself the first time, and then the second, and still a third. I didn’t like what that said about me. I completely believe that if you say that you are a certain way but your consistent actions prove otherwise, you are not being honest to yourself. As Jean-Paul Sartre would say, such an one is living in bad faith.

So, hearing the voice of my actions loudly tell me I was no longer objective and hinting at my being chronically online made me feel weird. It’s okay to not have an opinion about matters I don’t have enough knowledge of, but to intentionally reduce myself to finding out what others think in order to form my own opinion made me feel cognitive dissonance. My insides were conflicted. It simply wasn’t who I thought I was. I had to take the active step to be more intentional about forming my opinions and not changing them because the internet says so. And if I don’t have an opinion and no interest in doing research on the topic, I keep it moving.

Your mind can be open or it can be weak. One way to find out is by questioning your actions and decisions. Especially when they don’t tally with who you believe yourself to be.

---

I had other thoughts, but I just realised they could be full-blown newsletter articles on their own. LMAO. I’ll stop here. See you next weekend! I promise myself to write everyday so I don’t have to rush half-baked articles. You deserve the best of me.

---

My favourite quotes from the past week:

1. “The person who says he knows what he thinks but cannot express it usually does not know what he thinks.”

   —Mortimer Adler

2. Writing helps you think because it gives you nowhere to hide.— Unknown.

---

Since this was a short one, indulge in one or two others:

1. How ChatGPT describes my writing